When I decided to let Nancy Meyers be my Northen Star, I knew part of the deal had to be that I took some time off before finding my next job. I needed to just "be" and reconnect with all of the parts of me I'd lost over the years. Because it's a truly strange feeling to go from being beholden to someone's schedule and whims to a, albeit needed and comforting, screeching halt. The time off would be for me to create. To sculpt and draw and write down all the stories that had been bouncing around in my head for years and that I never had the time or energy to put to paper. You'd be amazed how tiring it can be, to constantly be on edge, on the line for every aspect of someone's life and livelihood. It zaps the creative desire clean out of you.

After the Paris travel debacle, I ended up leaving that position and moving back to LA. That was a particularly hard job for me (tho, it pales in comparison to recent events) and when I got back to LA, I felt this incredible, almost manic, need to purge out those last two years. I'm not a runner, but it reminds me of the way my friends talk about the all consuming need to put their feet to the pavement. That running is the only way to exorcise their demons. It's meditative. I had the exact same need - but instead of doing something healthy, I went to the craft store, bought five tubs of kids air-dry clay and sculpted a giant Rocky Dennis head.

And then the next day I sculpted another head and another and through every hideous, huge, monster head, I felt myself coming back to the land of the living.

So I know I have the ability to create again, I just need to ignite the spark. And being a completely logical person, I figured the best way to jump-start this mission would be to purchase some crystals and a magical candle with a spell connected to it that's meant to help harness your creative potential. Totally normal shit.

So for the candle, you set up a sacred space, sage, announce intentions and then light the candle...and in order for the spell to work correctly, the said candle must burn completely out, uninterrupted, for about four days. Which, sure, and those people dabbling in magic and whose house didn't burn down as a child, I'm sure that doesn't phase them at all. Me? Not so much.

(Photo of candle after it went out. Also, RIP, Littlefinger)

Look, I know I'm not super proficient in witchcraft and the like, but I've seen THE CRAFT numerous times and let me tell you, there is no fucking way I'm going to throw a magic spell off course by blowing out that candle. The last thing I need is to be known as the asshole to accidentally summoned MANON to Central Vermont.

So I did what any aspiring witch needing a creative boost but also not interested in dying a fiery death would do - I set up a four day basecamp in close proximity to the candle in order to monitor its progress and safety. I realize this sounds super paranoid - but you have to understand how far I've come. I was the girl who ran screaming from First United Methodist Church because they had asked me to be an acolyte. I wouldn't let my mom turn on the heater because I was afraid of the pilot light /gas combo. In college I took my paranoia to a place of authority - becoming the risk manager for my sorority and lecturing super hungover girls about the perils of leaving curling irons plugged in and reminding them to always (ALWAYS!!) clean the damn lint trap after you use the dryers. I feel like I've made progress, but when it comes to leaving a candle unattended for multiple days, I'm just not comfortable.

So I camped downstairs, wouldn't leave the house for more than a few minutes at a time and overall settled into a pretty decent routine. I'd scribble some new pictures or work on my outline, all the while my little magical pal would be there. Slowing melting down to nothing, flickering with a hint of danger and the anticipation of the magic to come. I also had a theory that being so close to the candle while the spell was working had to make the spell more potent, right? I was on the front line and was ready for it's magical D-Day. I mean, I wasn't expecting a TEEN WITCH situation to happen - I didn't want to become the most popular 37-yr old in Vermont or be subjected to rap battles as foreplay - but I did expect the candle to help me finish a draft of my story.

What happened when the candle went out yesterday you might ask? Well, I heard a faint pop, looked over and saw that the flame had been smothered by the last little bit of wax. I got so excited to dig out the crystal they planted at the bottom, a super charged crystal!!, that I jumped up from the couch and knocked my laptop onto the fucking floor.

KINDA HARD TO BE CREATIVE AND FINISH THAT DRAFT WHEN YOUR LAPTOP IS BROKEN!!

The moral of this story - aside from, ya know, using your own capabilities to channel your creativity and not expecting someone or something to do that for you - no, the moral is - Magic is a tricky little bitch. Never assume you're Robin Tunney because more than likely you're Skeet Ulrich and life will deal you a nasty fate at the hands of magical forces.