Tonight on the Hallmark Channel...
Everything is covered in snow and looks like its part of the set of a fucking Hallmark movie. Here are some photos I took around town and the synopsis of the Hallmark holiday films that were shot at those locations.
Tonight on the Hallmark Channel, a busy account executive with no time for the holiday spirit, slips on an icy patch as she's rushing to a meeting. While on the mend in the town hospital, she's visited by three nurses and a crippled child, who through flashbacks, show the woman that there's more to life than making money. Once she's released from the hosptial, she decides to pay her newfound joy forward, throwing a holiday party for all of the hospital's patients. While talking to the handsome doctor who oversaw her recovery, she learns that there are no nurses on staff that fit the description of the ones who visited her - she's super, super fucking freaked out. She starts having night terrors and eventually loses her job, but it's fine because she started dating her doctor and he's happy to support her, because God made man head of the household and shit.
10pm ET/ 7pm PT
Tonight on the Hallmark Channel, the harried assistant to the CEO of a dairy conglomerate is seen to small town Vermont to oversee the purchase of farm that has been in the Kringle family for generations. The family has faced some financial setbacks and the bank told them selling is the only option. The sale becomes complicated after the assistant, bonding with the family and coming to understand that there is more to life than being a big-shot in the Dairy World, decides to sabotage the sale. The CEO initially mad over the failed sale, comes around once he sees how the town has rallied around the family. The former assistant uses her inheritance to purchase the farm instead and lives there with Kris, the strapping Kringle grandson and current owner. They launch their own creamery and spend their days churning butter and making very, very family friendly love. After a few months of churning butter and super tame dry-humping, the former assistant decided to try and make a go in Big Dairy but found that she had been blackballed due to her sabotage. Defeated and hating rural Vermont, she starts huffing fertilizer and eventually OD's in the milking pen.
10pm ET/ 7pm PT
Tonight on the Hallmark Channel, after losing her father in a Headless Horseman attack on a covered bridge on Christmas Day during her youth, Laura Bland, an up and coming interior decorator, had no desire in celebrating the holidays. It wasn't until a mysterious new turtleneck wearing client hired her on to revamp the very bridge where her father was murdered. She tried to turn down the offer, but the handsome turtleneck wearing client wouldn't let her take no for an answer. Through a series of hi-jinx, Laura comes to realize that the bridge might have been a place of sorrow for her, but it held so many happy memories for the rest of the town. She decided to honor her father and go all-in on revamping the bridge to make it a place full of holiday cheer year round, and in the process, she fell for the handsome turtleneck wearing client. During the ribbon cutting ceremony, she and the handsome turtleneck wearing client were set to drive through the bridge together in a horse-drawn sleigh. As they started under the bridge, the handsome turtleneck wearing man reveled himself to be THE Headless Horseman, the same one who killed her father for reasons unknown! He pulled down his turtleneck to show that his handsome face was just a mannequin head! He ripped that fucker off and decapitated Laura as the sleigh bells jingled and fresh snow began to fall all around. It was the most magical Christmas.
10pm ET/ 7pm PT